Breaking the rules of social media

Most people dislike social media but can’t stop using it. I’ve struggled with this for years, constantly trying to implement digital minimalism in my life. It’s easy to see why people hate social media — it’s a curated showcase of beauty, success, and health, often making others feel inadequate or left out.

But what if we broke the rules?

The Unspoken Rules of Social Media

There are certain unwritten rules that dominate social media:

• Posts should highlight the best parts of your life.
• The goal is to collect likes and approval.
• Posting anything outside the norm will trouble your life.

As a result, most people consume social media rather than create for it. There’s also an odd asymmetry — those with the most popular accounts rarely engage with others’ content. They don’t “eat their own cooking.” (What is social media good for?)

This fear of judgment leads to over-crafting every post until it’s “perfect,” stripping away authenticity. Instead of sharing freely, people build a polished brand, presenting only the version of themselves they want others to see.

I understand that fear deeply. For years, I was afraid to post on Facebook, especially in front of my Taiwanese connections. What if they didn’t agree with me? What if my post was too emotional or controversial? What if I got hate comments? What if no one liked it?

Every time I posted, I agonized over every word, constantly checking for likes. The stress of how others perceived me drained my motivation — so I stopped posting altogether.

Creating New Rules

But what if we stopped playing by the current rules? What if we reshaped social media into something more meaningful?

I think these platforms should be used to share goals and dreams and desires. To share what you are learning, what you think is beautiful, what projects you spend weekends working on, and what you want to accomplish in a decade. To paint a picture of what a good and interesting life looks like to you. — What is social media good for?

I’ve learned that to have a positive experience with social media, I need to be a creator, not a consumer. Instead of using it for validation, I now use it for:

• Accountability for my goals
• Quickly capturing daily learnings
• Deeply processing thoughts I struggle to articulate

Here are some ways I’ve broken the traditional rules of social media:

Using Social Media for Accountability

I once did a “build in public” project on Twitter, primarily as a personal accountability tool. Watching my friends do the same recently was eye-opening — it was incredibly energizing to see their daily progress. Their momentum made me want to engage, support, and follow their growth.

Capturing Daily Learnings

At first, posting on Twitter felt pointless — no one seemed to care. But when I updated my resume, I realized my own tweets were some of my favorite content to revisit.

I could track everything I learned, review it whenever I wanted, and refine my ability to explain concepts. My Twitter became a reflection of my passion for learning engineering. Regardless of engagement, it became a success for me.

Deep process thoughts I’ve tried to articulate

Even Facebook, the platform where I felt the most pressure, became a tool for me. I started using it to process thoughts about Taiwan vs. San Francisco — topics that didn’t quite fit with my social circles in SF.

For example, after a deep product discussion with my founder, I impulsively shared my reflections on Facebook. It felt liberating to structure my ideas.

English translation: I realized that the problem-solving methods taught in traditional business schools are quite different from the experimental mindset of some startups. Business strategy training and Minerva students’ Habits of Mind both share common concepts like hypothesis testing and gap analysis frameworks. In particular, Minerva approaches problems with a scientific mindset, which makes observation and hypothesis-driven experimentation more structured than traditional business education.

However, the innovative approaches in startups tend to be about continuous iteration — pushing forward, testing, and refining until reaching a breakthrough. For example, if retention is poor, I tend to ask, “Why is retention bad?” or “What are the habits and qualities of long-term users?” I dig deep into these questions.

On the other hand, others might ask, “What feature can we implement to increase retention?” or “What features are currently driving higher retention?” They focus on testing solutions.

Both methods have their blind spots. Over-reliance on frameworks can lead to rigid thinking, while an experimental approach can sometimes lack a clear purpose.

I used to think I had to be a “thought representative” on Taiwanese Facebook, careful about how classmates or older relatives perceived me. But after posting freely on Twitter and getting used to 0 likes and 0 comments, my fear of judgment faded.

Unexpected Benefits of Posting

Even though my goal was personal growth, external benefits followed. People reached out to me on Twitter about job opportunities. Some messaged me because they resonated with my ideas.

I realized that posts aren’t meant to attract the masses. Most people try to revise and iterate their posts for more audience might be the wrong metric to optimize. While broad appeal can provide validation and credibility, engaging with a niche audience has been far more valuable for my learning and career.

This idea was inspired by Jason Liu, who, in his video on How to Charge for Your Expertise (From $170 per Hour to $100K a Month), explained that while his widely popular posts gained attention, it was his niche content — deep technical insights solving specific industry problems — that attracted the small but highly valuable audience willing to pay for his expertise.

How do I overcome posting anxiety?

At its core, I would say that our inability to break free from the rules of current social media is an ego problem — an ego that craves praise and recognition. The only way to create new rules on social media is to let go of that ego. And the path to becoming egoless is through mass posting, gradually desensitizing yourself from the need for validation.

Of course, I still overthink whether some of my posts seem “cringe,” but so what? I’ll post again tomorrow, and people will forget.

Ironically, my moments of greatest self-doubt happen when I compare my posts to others’ when I scroll my social media. That’s when I feel the pressure to conform. But then I remind myself — I’m not here to follow the old rules. I’m here to create my own.

So I started shitposting on my Substack, shitposting on my Twitter, and shitposting on my Facebook. The more I posted, the more I realized that the sweet spot of my brand is a mix of funniness and learning — a space that feels like a casual online connection with others while also fueling my growth.

Imagine a social media feed where people don’t just announce new jobs, marriages, or vacations. Instead, they share the projects they’re working on, the skills they’re learning, and the goals they’re targeting.

How much more exciting and meaningful would it be to truly engage with people’s growth, rather than just passively observing their pretentious highlights?

Weirdo friends, let’s be a creator, not a consumer.