Completely Lost
The following comic is my communication with my brain. I hardly understand it. No wonder no one understands me.
I’m really not making this an exaggeration because of the comic. On the same day, I really laughed at my own thoughts, cried out of sorrow and pain, and my brain really told me “This planet has amazing croissants” when I got a chocolate croissant for my breakfast. Don’t laugh!
Since I’m so lost in my life, and my brain isn’t helpful, I decided to let “destiny” 緣分 lead my life and career. I decided that I would try and take whatever came to me. I did a bunch of random things.
I applied for yoga teacher training, trying to sublet my house so I could go to Mexico, emailed my friend about applying to YC together, and applied for random jobs that dropped in front of my face.
So far, the yoga teacher training course only gives me a 5% discount so I cannot afford it. Plus, my yoga teacher said she didn’t have any recommendations. I took it as the universe told me it was a no. For moving to Mexico, no one wants to sublet my house so far, so it’s maybe a no or not yet. For the YC application, my friend said 2 years after. No more information from the universe. I guess it’s a pause. Quite a few random jobs dropped in front of my face. And I realized interviewed was such a great way to figure things out. From talking to the hiring manager, I immediately learned if I wanted to work with this person, and if I was interested in the work they described.
I had an energizing conversation when a young empathetic founder who told me he was a dropout too. I had another conversation where I immediately now that the hiring manager was way too conservative for my crazy brain. My heart immediately said no. In the interviews, I’m no longer playing to get, but playing to differentiate. And I got some hints about potential direction from the voice in my heart.
But you know what? Weirdo friends, I think maybe our default states are being lost. Other humans are just pretending that they know what they are doing.
