Financial Instability

Though not having a job allows me to do whatever I want, my bank statement is not happy at all. In the morning, I calculate my average spending in San Francisco. My rent is $2,000, and other costs (Uber for safety, insurance, exercising, traveling, coffee…) total $2,500. This amounts to $4,500 a month. Even if I budget aggressively, I will still need $3500 a month. I freaked out.

Initially, I thought my internship would provide some savings to survive for a few months, but apparently, it’s not adequate even for a comfortable month. What should I do? I feel really stressed.

I plan to explore my career a bit more, hopefully by next July, but without the money, I cannot explore. To be exact, I actually need to find a job ASAP. But the job market is shit, and I’m already exhausted from overworking since my graduation. I have some boring contractor roles that I can work on for 20 hours per week, but even with them, it can barely cover my rent. I’m in a big crisis mode.

Should I do whatever it takes to cover my living expenses? But if I find lots of part-time work, I will have no energy left to explore. If I find a random full-time job, it’s likely that it won’t align with my long-term career goals.

Should I sprint and try to find a good job in two months? But I’m already so tired, and finding a good enough job that I like takes time.

Should I move out of San Francisco? But I’m not ready to give up all the resources that the US and San Francisco provide. Besides, finding a job also really requires me to be in the city.

I realize this money problem will not only be a problem for now but also a big problem if I want to create my own product to revolutionize learning. I will need time to explore, but I also need money to survive. If I only build solutions on the side, my solution will not be impactful. If I explore the problem full-time, money might still be a headache. And in the future, the money problem can be both on a personal level and a company level. You might say, “Build a product that pays you!” But there is no guarantee that it will happen. Even if it does, we do not know when. In the meanwhile, financial stress can erode my decision-making ability. Budgeting life can demotivate me, causing me to give up easily.

“How can I have the freedom to explore and cultivate financial intelligence to sustain for the long run?” I kept asking myself.