I tried 30 days to get rid of my addiction
Today is Oct 31st, the last day of my sober October. The following is my initial list to be sober from.
How did I do?
Well… not 100%. I still use LinkedIn and Twitter sometimes. I accidentally got tea with caffeine in it, and at yesterday’s networking event, I unintentionally ended up with a drink containing alcohol. I still think and talk about dating sometimes…And I consumed quite a bit of sugar…
But alongside that, I grounded myself in the intention I set for the month. I detached from the usual worries, quietly promising, “I’ll handle this in November.” To my surprise, when I looked back, many problems seemed to have dissolved. What once felt overwhelming became small and simplified.
My anxiety eased. I began to let go of unhealthy connections and allowed myself to simply be here, in the present moment.
“You can wait,” I whispered when troubling thoughts came by.
Instead of hustling at hackathons or grinding toward career milestones, this month, I chose to be still, to attend a peaceful yoga class, to cultivate equanimity.
One of my favorite definitions of equanimity is finding composure amid change. It’s the recognition that things are always changing, inviting us to loosen our grip and our tendency to hold on. Equanimity also reminds us that it’s perfectly natural to feel everything, to fall apart, and to rebuild ourselves. — my yoga teacher
Even though it was just a two-hour class, her words resonated with me for weeks. Equanimity isn’t a place to arrive at; it’s a practice we nurture daily. Inner peace doesn’t mean our lives are free from hardship. It’s accepting whatever comes, even the unwelcome. This, too, is life.
If my visa doesn’t work out, then that’s just how life is. I may need to leave the U.S., but perhaps that opens up a chance to explore other countries.
If my job doesn’t work out, that’s beyond my control as well. It might be an invitation to explore something different.
If my relationships don’t work out, maybe it wasn’t the right fit. I’ve put in my share of effort, so I feel at peace with whatever turns out.
Of course, I’m calm sometimes and intense at others, but the ongoing practice of detaching from addiction and finding composure amid change is a lifelong journey. In a society focused on output, success, and productivity, we emphasize honing skills and building careers but often overlook the importance of learning to reside peacefully with our minds and emotions — offering lifelong rewards.
Though not 100% successful, I’m grateful that I set the intention. And who says we need to reach 100% success? This, too, is just another practice.
