I’m ghosted

“No matter what happens, let’s just be open and honest with each other,” they promised, patting their chest. I felt confident, thinking that we would find a way out.

However, a week later, when I asked about a new incident that had occurred between us, there was only silence. Initially, I thought they just needed time, but after a few weeks, I realized I was probably being ghosted.

In the beginning, I felt a mix of shock, sadness, and anger. I couldn’t believe that right after our heartfelt conversation, this is how I was treated. My faith and trust eroded day by day.

I remember being in the same situation a few years ago. Back then, I felt extremely anxious, checking my messages every morning I woke up, and feeling like my life was at the mercy of someone else’s. I kept praying for miracles and reaching out, trying to prove this situation was an outlier. Sadly, it wasn’t. It never is. Those who run away from their problems often do so not only in relationships but in every aspect of their lives.

Thankfully, years bring growth. This time, I don’t feel as much anxiety thanks to the emotional management skills I’ve learned. Of course, I still cry often, immerse myself in disbelief, and worry about what to do next.

However, instead of rejecting reality and seeking counter-evidence, I’ve decided to accept the situation as it is. Given this reality, what do I do? If this is who they are, what kind of relationship do I want with them? Do I even want to be in any sort of relationship with them?

I’m no longer striving to prove that I’m merely unlucky or blindly placing faith in them to take responsibility. Instead, I accept that ghosting is a reflection of who they are at this moment.

We often attempt to change others when a relationship fails to meet our expectations. We insist they are wrong and believe they can transform. Yet, we frequently end up frustrated when they don’t change quickly or act in ways we desire.

In accepting them as they are, despite their actions, I’ve found a new sense of compassion. It allows me to let them be themselves, irrespective of any growth or changes I may or may not witness in the future.

Surprisingly, I no longer feel at the mercy of others but in control of my own responses to this situation. Their actions remain unjustified, and I’m not immune to negative emotions, but my mind has stopped trying to fill the void left by their silence.

I started to find strength in knowing that I could move forward with clarity and grace. I might move away from the future hatred after I wake up from my emotions.

Weirdo friends, is that called wisdom? The ability to differentiate things you can change vs things you cannot.