Jobless & Single Life

Most people think being single is miserable, and being jobless causes anxiety. However, except for money stress, I feel incredibly happy! Happy to the point that I really don’t want to have a job now…

Imagine. The morning you wake up, you are completely free! Every day is like a weekend. This is the amazing lifestyle that I gradually adopting now.

• 7 am: Wake up & Meditate
• 8 am — 9 am: Exercise (Gym, yoga, CrossFit, pilates). I walked past the park played with dogs on the way, and explored different kinds of exercise!
• 9 am — 10 am: Shower & Happily eat chocolate croissant
• 10 am — 12 pm: Learn whatever I like in my favorite cafe of the day! Recently, I’ve been addicted to algorithm problems, so I explored a new cafe and learned it there.
• 12 pm — 2 pm: Cook a healthy fancy lunch for myself. Garlic bread, fried egg, spinach, and yogurt with berries. Or experiment with new recipes!
• 2 pm — 5 pm: Build whatever coding project I’m interested in! I got the best coding mentor friend from the YC incubator friend
• 5 pm — 10 pm: Play! I danced, wrote, and hung out with friends

The thing is, when you get responsibilities like a relationship or a job, you cannot really follow your heart all the time. But now, I can design every day as whatever I want to have. There is so much freedom that I haven’t owned for a long time.

If I have a job, I cannot exercise that much. I am less likely to cook whatever dish I want to have during lunch. I cannot just learn whatever I feel like on the day. I can hardly explore different cafes and neighbors if I need to get into the office. Potentially, because I interact with humans, I will need to handle other people’s anxiety or problems and get influenced by them too. Why should I? Every day, I can pick the activities that energize me the most, because I don’t have to consider my partner, and I don’t have any mandatory work to do.

But then why then people like to tell a miserable story of being single and an anxious story of being jobless?

Not until a friend who says that they are really worried about me, did I start to learn to re-learn this anxious jobless story again. To start with, it is just a story. But when everyone around you talks about the same story, it becomes a reality. We feel stressed because we feel like we are probably supposed to have something to work on. We are afraid of being lost because we are supposed to have a direction. Nowadays, I throw this story out of the window because I think it’s quite stupid (Read: Walk in your own timezone, Planet Emptiness, Give me a scoop of kindness, Completely Lost).

To be honest, I’m still super confused, but emotionally really comfortable with being lost. Why are people always rushing and pretending they know what they are doing? Aren’t we all just someone wondering on this planet anyway? Why do people always need to find a lover to complete them when they love themselves, their day and their lives?

I don’t know, men and women. Maybe because I meditate and do yoga too much, I’m so content with myself. Very comfortable with where I am at. And happy with my every day (But I would really love to have more money). In the future, I think if someone tries to bother me with a “jobless anxious story,” “lost anxious story”, or “single misery story,” I’m gotta throw all of them away. Stories come from my voice, and I get to write whatever version I want to tell.

Hence, when my friend asked, “Baby, how’s your job search”?” And I responded,

They all became speechless for a second and burst into laughter.

Note: Weirdo friends, if you have a second, can you pray to god you believe in for me? You can say this: “Dear God X, please give Esther money without having a job. She can live like this for the rest of her life.” Ahhhh…I don’t want to have a job.