Peak unhappiness
A well-respected founder in our community just announced that he has to close down his company. Everyone was in shock. They had raised $8M, and he and the company have over 100K followers on Twitter. He came out of our incubator and had an office cooler than Google’s because they were a hit. Many people shared their company’s journey because it inspired Gen Z education in the most creative way. He was the dream of all the founders, and they were, in fact, at the peak of their journey.
But no matter the impact, the love from people, or the money they had left, the founder was just in “peak unhappiness.” He felt he had lost his passion, even though he was doing some of the most inspirational work today.
None of us could believe this — being where he is and doing what he’s doing is basically my biggest career dream. My dream is to be him. If I can get there, I’ll be satisfied with my entire career journey. But someone hates it so much they’re willing to throw it all away. What on earth is happening?
And he closed down the company, with thousands of people depending on him, just because he was bored or unhappy?
My mind is filled with disbelief. I’m angry. I’m angry on multiple levels. First, there’s the anger over the responsibility he threw away out of disinterest. It’s like getting married and having a kid with someone, and then suddenly wanting to throw everything away because you’re “unhappy.” What the hell?
The second layer is a mix of confusion and frustration. What are we striving so hard for? In San Francisco, everyone is trying to reach the heights he did. But now, he wants to be somewhere else. Are we, as humans, endlessly consumed by our unfulfilled desires regardless?
If he is a version of me in a few years — losing all passion after reaching that peak — what’s the point of striving so hard now, sacrificing money and playtime for work? I thought I was progressing on my mission, but back then, he thought so too!
Most things in life suddenly feel very minor and insignificant.
The only two solaces I feel at the moment are my founder and my new roommate.
The first flashback is of my founder’s face in front of the computer. He’s a very consistent man, working from Monday to Sunday without a day off for the past four years. Though he gets unhappy that I don’t work as hard as he does, I see a lot of passion in his consistency. When I’m around him, I feel that nothing can deter him from working.
The second flashback is of my new Turkish roommate, who left 5 minutes ago. She was still processing relationship breakups. She gave me a random hug and joked that no one could manipulate her anymore. Five minutes later, she came back and said she felt so bad that she needed to give me another good hug because she didn’t want to project her past trauma onto me.
I melted.
Maybe life is indeed meaningless, but maybe there’s still a lot of joy and determination in between. I don’t know. Today, I’m just a really confused human being.
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