Setting boundaries with work
As part of my New Year’s resolution, I had promised myself that this would be the year I set better boundaries with work. I hadn’t expected my first practice to come so soon.
For days now, I’d been trying to fix a critical issue on production — an issue that, no matter how hard I worked, seemed to slip further from my grasp. 60% percent of users were affected, and the pressure was mounting with each passing hour. My mind churned with solutions that never quite worked. I felt the weight of it pressing on me, gnawing at my concentration, my confidence. I hadn’t slept well the night before. I kept tossing and turning, unable to quiet my thoughts.
The next morning, I woke up feeling drained, the weight of the previous day still heavy on my shoulders. My body moved on autopilot, heading straight for my desk, fingers already reaching for the mouse. But then, as I stood there, I paused.
Wait a minute, I thought, a quiet voice cutting through the blur of exhaustion. This is the time to practice. This is what I’ve been trying to change.
I took a breath, steadying myself. Instead of sitting down to dive back into the problem, I turned away. I wanted to detach, to break free from the grip of that relentless urgency. So, rather than opening my laptop, I put on my gym legging.
It wasn’t easy. It felt like time slipping away — time that could be spent fixing the issue, pushing forward, doing something. But in that moment, I knew I had to try. I had to see if I could carve out space, even if just for an hour, to reclaim my own rhythm. So I went to the gym, and then be in the cafe. Instead of working on the problem, I wrote down my feelings.
Interestingly, as I reflected on it, I realized something important: the difficulty I had in separating work from myself wasn’t all bad. On one hand, it came from my genuine interest and curiosity — my desire to dive deep, to understand, to improve. But on the other hand, there was a darker side to it. Sometimes it was tangled with insecurity and anxiety when I didn’t meet my own expectation.
I found myself constantly questioning my own abilities, wondering if I was good enough, if I could really handle it. And beyond that, I’d catch myself worrying about how other perceived my ability. The worry crept in like an unwelcome guest, making me second-guess everything I did when things don’t go smoothly.
After the gym session, I chose not to return immediately to the frustrating problem that had been gnawing at me. Instead, I shifted gears, deciding to tackle something different — something I knew I could handle. The small victories, the sense of accomplishment, gave me a surge of energy, a quiet but powerful reminder that I was capable. With that boost, I felt ready to face the challenge again.
I realized that setting boundaries isn’t as simple as just saying, “No, I’m stopping now.” It’s a lot of complex inner work going on. Weirdo friends, I will update you more with my exploration.
