We are our worst enemy

“Are you still thinking of your ex?” my colleague turned around and asked me all of a sudden.

“NO. It’s Sober October!” I almost laughed because startup life can be quite inappropriate without HR.

Let me give you a real-time update on my sober journey, where there are no drugs, caffeine, drama, gossip, dating, social media, Netflix, parties/clubs, and low sugar.

First week

When a problem walks by my brain…

But after a week…

Today

I feel so, so bored. The only thing keeping me stimulated today is VC interviews. Without those, I don’t think I could get through it. Suddenly, I realized just how much my brain craves constant stimulation — through experiences or imagination.

Still, I’ve noticed real progress with this sober practice. My mind has stopped dwelling on the past, fantasizing about the future, or getting trapped in present problems. I allow myself to release emotional challenges as they come, and, almost magically, once I pass through the emotions, the problems feel simple and easy to solve. I didn’t even need to wait until November!

BUT, practicing patience is really, really hard.

Recently, a friend from our incubator got into YC. He’s only 24, a solo founder, and made $5K in a week after launching a product he built in just 10 days. Crazy, right?

The funny part is, he came to us a few days ago, sharing how the Airbnb CEO glorified the hustle of building a startup during his YC kickoff. “In the early days of Airbnb, we only ate cereal!” he said.

After the kickoff gathering, he felt there was no point in hustling and decided to quit that very day. The next thing we knew, he had flown back to his country. Boom, he was gone in two days!

Whatever his reasons for quitting, I’ve seen many talented and successful founders step away — burned out, losing passion, or for other reasons. But I’ve also met founders who started with nothing: one began as a nanny, working on her startup for six years without funding, barely making ends meet until recent years. Now, her company has raised 10M, and she got invited to chat with very very famous CEOs.

Imagine living a tough, frugal life for six years. Could you do that?

Tbh, I don’t know if I could. I tell myself that I’m okay with being poor but passionate until I’m 30, yet I’m unsure if I can sustain this lifestyle for so long.

Then you realize: the only person who can take you out of the game is yourself. So many people end up leading mediocre lives because they keep switching lanes and can’t commit to anything. In our era, we constantly chase stimulation. We want more exciting TikToks, hotter dates, more interesting jobs, and faster career growth. We crave that dopamine rush.

Perhaps the true challenge isn’t in the search — it lies in patience. In learning to work with a steady heart over the years to come. In finding calm in the monotony. In resisting the endless push to always perform. In waiting, quietly, for the right partner rather than grasping at fleeting loves. In refining a craft with devotion, even after the 1000th repetition.

The itch to escape patience is ever-present. We truly are our own worst enemies.